Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I’ve read your posts on Facebook, or at least some of it. And I can feel your anger and bitterness towards my husband and your newly-ended affair. You claimed to have lost your friends because of him. But here’s what he lost because of you: his family and his wife’s trust.
You know it is wonderful to find someone to love who loves you in return. But it shouldn’t be at the expense of others. There is nothing romantic about an illicit affair. It destroys lives, families, futures, and relationships.
You almost tore our family apart. But did you realize that you’re also the one who brought me and my husband back together? Through your scandalous posts. It disgusted him. He said your affair is the one thing he will forever be ashamed of. And I could feel his sincerity and guilt. That’s why since then I stopped pestering him. I cannot continue on haunting him for his mistakes and making him feel guilty. He was remorseful enough. I can see it in the way he makes up for everything.
My husband is a good man. He still chose this family not only because it is the right thing to do, but because it is us he truly loves. You’re disillusioned if you were thinking he would leave us for you. Once you decided to get involved with a married man, expect heartaches in the end, not happy endings.
If you feel you have been used (physically, emotionally) to gratify his needs when he was away from his family, you have to admit you were a willing partner. You knew from the start that he was a married man. You cannot blame anybody, not even my husband for your pain. Honestly, you really had that coming.
And if it hurts you that much, what would you call my pain? It was beyond words. Nobody in his right mind would want to wish this to anyone. I was the one wronged and back-stabbed here. If there's someone who should be angry and bitter, it should be me.
But I chose to accept everything. It was a painful process, never easy. But I chose to accept the fact that it already happened and there's nothing I can do to change it. Yes, I was devastated at first, and paralyzed to the core. But I will never allow this misfortune to control my life. The pain is lesser now, no matter what revelations I accidentally discover in relation to your affair.
The important thing for me is my husband's presence by my side. Believe me, I've been through hell, alone. What could be more difficult than that. But I have my husband with me now, to comfort me when pain strikes.
I sincerely hope you'll recover soon, for your own good. I've known several mistresses. Most of them were unrepentant, proud, even arrogant. Please do not be like them. Be a better person. Someday you'll find yourself a good husband. And I'm sure you'll never want this to happen to you. You may be older than me, but still young enough to find your own Mr. Right.
I know you and my husband shared good memories together. Please do not ruin them with your malicious posts on Facebook. You have the right to be hurt, but not to be bitter. All affairs end. You have to accept that. And despite that dark past, I know you're still capable of self-respect. I’ve seen his wall post before. It said: “Don’t be sad because it’s over, smile because it happened”. It could be meant for you. Everybody makes mistakes, and we all deserve second chances. I choose to forgive my husband, despite all the lies. Because I know he lied for good reasons. This experience made me look at life with a broader perspective. I hope this changes you for the good as well.
By the way, I have one question for you. Were you the one who sent me that anonymous tip about my husband's extra-marital affair? I would have sincerely thanked you if it weren't for the motive behind it.
When I sent you that message the moment I was able to confirm your relationship, I was trying to befriend you. My intention was to gather more information about your affair so I could use them when I decide to file for separation. That would have made you happy. And you would have succeeded in tearing our family apart.
But you chose to attack and scandalize, not only me or my husband, but my entire family. Thus I decided to stand by him no matter what he did, because it is our responsibility to protect this family. We cannot allow it to be compromised, even if it was him who brought this to us in the first place.
You may want to post your feelings all you want. In fact I’m quite entertained. Truth is, I told myself once that your pain will be my revenge. Sometimes, I still feel that way. So if posting is your way of dealing with your pain, then so be it. For now, I’m choosing to totally ignore your dummy account and delete the bookmark. It is time to move on...


P.S. I decided to not send you this personally as you might use this to scandalize again. Remember, my husband’s shame is yours as well. I hope you would come across this letter and feel that it is intended specifically for you and be enlightened. Seek God’s grace. He is the only one who can help you during these trying times.

Sincerely,
legal wife